Patience

And now we wait...

My debt kill plan is rolling on fine. It's practically guaranteed that I'll be done with the housing debt by the end of this year. Even if that somewhat magical finish line for some reason won't be passed by then, it'll be January next year. I don't have to do anything but dump everything into the great abyss of debt. Those transactions are made automatically by my bank account so there's nothing more I can do.

And now I feel a bit restless. Again. Because for some reason I can't wait for this year to be over and to feel free, but at the same time I realize I should take the chance to just sit back, relax and enjoy life now. I am musing about what to do with my life after this is done. I know I like the 'financial independence, retire early' community. So one of my goals will definitely be saving as much as I was dumping in the abyss. But for some reason, I am more and more beginning to realize that working for a company just so I can stop working doesn't feel right anymore. It's a bit of a paradox. If I want to work less, I need some sort of investment to rely on. To make an investment, I need money. To get money, I need to work more in the job I want to work less.

So am I just super lazy (uhm, ok, maybe...) or is there something else going on here? I know I do like to work hard. I've worked my ass of as a waiter during my study while I also had another job during week nights as a warehouse worker. And I loved it. And now it hit me... I like the change. Doing different things, meeting different people, work strange hours and be free on hours that the rest of the community normally works. I love going to lunch with someone on odd days when there's no one else around. I love working when the rest of the world is out shopping. I just tend to avoid the crowd and make money while doing so. I love making money when everyone is hanging on the couch watching TV!

Truth to be told, I do enjoy my weekends now, just hang around with people I love and nothing to do until monday arrives, but lately I just hardly can get myself out of bed in the mornings. I just fall into some sort of lethargic mode for about an hour until I finally shake it of and get out of bed, telling myself how stupid it is I didn't get up an hour earlier.

Where is all of this going? I've got no clue. I just am beginning to realize that I don't need to work my ass of in a job that doesn't satisfy me to get out of that job forever. I don't hate to work, I just need to find the jobs that work for me. If those jobs don't make me the money I make now, but make me get around just fine, why not take those jobs on? I think it's easier to work longer for less and feel vital and live an enjoying life instead of working a couple more years in a place that drains my energy.

In the mean time, I'm going to make my job as fun as I can make it untill I've figured things out. Luckily there will be no more debt on my mind so I hope the figuring out part will become a little less of a hassle!