The first one is very, very variable. In this category, I put down everything from take-out, coffee, diner-for-two at a nice restaurant, getting a sandwich from a vending machine at work (maybe worth a discussion but it's never ever more healthy or cheaper than brown bagging). Sometimes I don't eat out for a month, sometimes every weekend. It's just a thing. Me and my girlfriend do like to enjoy nice food at a nice place. It could also count as entertainment and quality time for that matter. We try to be sparse with those moments so it's not like we're out for diner all the time. I will try and monitor this a bit more closely this year.
The clothing side of me was being more or less neglected for a while so it was time for some wardrobe updates. And I must confess a big part of 'Clothing' last year actually went into a new skiing outfit.
To accompany a new skiing outfit, one must (must? right...) also go on a skiing holiday. Or, actually, three of them last year. I know, I know... 'You went partying and at the same time had a major debt, who are you, retard-Ed or something?'. Nothing to say there. Yes, I was. These expenses where all made in January and February, just before I moved to another city and just before this whole holy-fak-I-need-to-get-rid-of-this-debt-thing began. You see, I was a normal consumer who didn't give flocks about his debt and kept spending and wondering where all the money went.
A good thing I started tracking from January the first so I can only say, slightly embarrassed, that I spend somewhere around 1.500 freakin' Euro's on two (short!) snowboard trips in the first two months of the year. Did I learn anything about this? Nope. Because I went a third time last month.
Truth is, I am aware of the fact that these types of holidays cost me. A lot. Even though I am setting myself a target to save to, I believe life is still meant to be lived. Okay, that sounds a bit YoLo and dumb-ass, but I just love being outside, in the mountains, a lot. I love the feeling of hovering through the snow in the sun. I love the whole social side of the game too, eating together, having fun. And so it was that when I was asked to join another very nice short snowboard break next February I almost reflexed into a "Yezzzz!".
But when the call had to be made, doubt creeped up my shoulders and I felt internally conflicted. Yes. I do love the snow. Yes. I do like to snowboard. Like it? I absolutely love it! But do I want to spend somewhere around 800 euro's or more on a four day (Yes. Four Days. It's over 1000 kilometers from here and getting there is expensive) snowboard trip? While I promised myself I would go and save as much as I could this year and be wise about the traveling thing?
The hardest part was it would be with my girlfriend and her brother and brother-in-law. Great people. First time ever with her on the slopes. I would really love to go, so much. But it's also important for me to follow my own road. Of course, she felt this internal struggle way before I was able to understand what was going on inside me. So we talked about it and I made the mature (yet terrible dull) decision to not go. I guess my future me would love me, but for now it feels like losing here. I'm free of my debt AND can't have fun?
But I am aware of the fact that I could maybe even get a better deal. Still get the healthy outdoor quality time. Still get to socialize. But maybe in a different setting. Frankly, I think going away for a couple of weekends a year in a nice location (a small hut somewhere in the outbacks, a fireplace, maybe even a sauna) can also be done. Costs could be the same, or maybe even less, but the quality of spending these moments with a loved one would outrange anything else. Okay, truth here is I really need to start believing in my own choices here, but these things take time. And guts. And little steps.
In the mean time, I can keep my money in my pocket. I don't have to give up three of my not-so-many-anyway vacation days. And the people I should have went with still think I'm a cool guy. At least they say so. Hey, as long as I feel cool about myself. Making a decision on spending and splurging just to keep people on my side is just as retarded, Ed...
So I think no more snow for me this season. And I cry a little on the inside. But am starting to feel a bit of the power of getting a more comfortable bankroll in return. Stability. Snow will come, someday...
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