Another month flew by

Another month flew by. Well, not really, since I'm recovering from my burnout. More on that in the get-out-my-burn-out section of the blog.

For some reason I find it very hard to cope. Today was my first day back at work again (after six weeks of downtime), a one-and-a-half hour of socialising and cleaning out my desk drawers. For some reason I find it very hard to believe I'm going to make it any longer with this company. I need some new challenge or something. I feel like life is too much of a system of recurring events at this moment. I know I need the rest and repetition and discipline to gain myself more energy and health and that's fine. But somehow going back at it and waiting another year before I can pull the plug here feels utterly saddening.

I need to get my grip on things but I guess I'm too low on ideas and energy to actually see what's my next step, which is super annoying.

"Quit complaining and get your ass of of your chair and do something, you lazy ass!"

Yes. I know. You're right. I'm my own enemy again. But I just needed to get this out here so I get my system back on track. Thanks...

Goals are for suckers, so I set myself a new one

As always I'm philosophin' about money, work, financial freedom, burn out, relationships, the whole sjabang. The thing is, since I lack motivation and discipline and most of the other succes factors as I've read lately and also, writing and reading aren't good for your future either (so what the heck are you doing here anyway?) I noticed I'm the one nagging for change but seem to be refusing to actually do anything. Because hey, impossible goals and to lazy/unmotivated/undisciplined to start working on them. I'm gonna be waiting until it feels right.

I am my biggest problem in life

It took me over ten years, lots of self-help books and personal training and finally a burn-out to come to this very simple conclusion: I am my biggest problem in life. Even though this is a very simple conclusion, the solution is far from simple. The decision to step out of this lies somewhere deep covered underneath my default settings.